Backwards Forwards.

Much news to post, I am pretty much extremely behind, and the only way I can think to tackle this is to go from most recent back...
To start, we had a lovely visit with my new niece, who also happens to be a Baby K :-) She is just about 7 weeks and a little copy of my brother.

It is always funny to see little babies and remember how long ago it felt. I think I also now understand that all those milestones that were SO BIG somehow seem to run together. Jana was asking me, when did Kyla roll over? or sleep through the night? and all those big moments and all I could come up with was somewhere between 2 and 4 months?

I think it also has been amazing to see all the change that happens in just one year...and I imagine will continue to happen.

DC was also fun because we got to hang out with some old friends, and that will be future posts...
Meanwhile, thanks to Cate for the following pics, I'm hoping to post a few more once Jana emails me :-)


Me and Little K



Sleepy K


Don't be mad, we all wish we could look this good 7 weeks after giving birth.


Crazy Uncle Mark faces.

So the following posts will be K's bday party and her formal photos. I cannot begin to tell you how awesome these photos are. My friend Cherish took them and I have been blown away...I just need to sort through all 600 awesome shots and find some good ones to share :-)

What We Have Been Up To...


Sorry for the lag in posts! I think we have just been plugging along with life and I haven't found anything super interesting to write about.
However! I did want to post the following video because Baby K has been very busy. About three weeks ago she finally got the hang of walking and mainly because the video camera wasn't charged and it apparently took me about as long to put the camera in the charger hence, three weeks after the fact, evidence that our little peanut is now mobile.....



Happy Fourth Everyone!

Also, in case anyone was wondering, K and P-dog, still BFF. It is darn lucky for p-dog considering she ate a whole pound cake off of our counter yesterday that was chalk full of homegrown strawberries. Sigh. I guess you win some, you lose some....enjoy the screeching too.

Why My Husband is great....


Conversation between us as we are trying to get ready for a wedding in Dallas:

Me: Shoot. I don't think I brought any lipstick/gloss. What should I do?
Mark: Well I think whatever you wore last night looked good.
Me: (Thinking back to our date night the night before). You mean generic Chap-stick?
Mark: Yeah, that looked good, just wear that.


Sweet. Doesn't get any easier than that.

Pool Day!

It appears that summer is going to finally make an appearance here in SLC. In honor of said summer, and the realization that bathtime MIGHT be K's favorite part of the day we had a hunch that a little pool would be right up her alley.
We pulled out swim stuff from last summer and quickly realized that it DID not fit, even though we thought it was huge last year.
Mark made a quick run to Carter's and rectified that situation and thus, we have...
pink pool party success.
We are pretty sure K loved it.
See below for reference:





Then we finished the day with yogurt, dirt, and some kisses from our bf, Phoenix.
I'd say it went well.

Book Reviews


So in light of the new Kindle that Mark got me, I have been gobbling up books. I find it easy to toss the Kindle in my bag, to read it while I am feeling Kyla, and to bring when traveling :-) Because of this convenience, I have been able to breeze through a few books on my list...Below are my thoughts.

1. Bossypants by Tina Fey (Two thumbs up)

Love. This. It was too funny. It is a semi-autobiographical retelling on Fey's rise to comedic stardom and some of the bumps she hit along the way. I think I find Fey so entertaining because she is this blend of irreverent potty humor with dry witty, somewhat intellectual quips. I laughed out loud a lot while reading this book and would highly recommend it.












2. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot (two thumbs up)

This was also excellent. It is the story of a woman named Henrietta Lacks who passed away in the 1950s from an especially aggressive form of cervical cancer. Prior to her death, doctors at Hopkins (where she was being seen) took a biopsy of her tumor that subsequently became one of the first cell lines able to be grown successfully. Since that time, those cells have played a pivotal role in the development and understanding of LOTS of science and medicine. The story focuses on the woman and her family and not only provides lots of good human interest stuff, but also brings up interesting ethical questions regarding research, consent, and patient understanding.
Thoroughly enjoyed. (and not just because I am an OB/Gyn and do PAP smears all the time :)







3. Boundaries with Kids by Drs. Henry Cloud, John Townsend (1.375 thumbs up)

This is a sequel to their famous boundaries series overall and from what I can tell, basically just extends their generally advocated MO to kids.
The few big (and valuable) points I thought they made seem to be a recurring theme in ALL parenting books. That is, have a plan BEFORE you encounter trouble, so get an idea of what you and your spouse are going to do when your kid throws a tantrum so that when it DOES happen, you aren't making stuff up as you go. It also advocates, along a similar line, proactive parenting-pretty much exactly what I just described. Parenting in a manner that accounts for future challenges and isn't so much REACTIVE but (duh) proactive.
This is pretty much what EVERY single parenting book I have encountered says.
SOOO since Kyla is now almost a year, I probably need to get on this. Going to try to come up with good plans, what behavior is allowable and what needs to be addressed early...we'll see how it goes!!






4. Something Borrowed by Emily Griffin (eight thumbs down)

Waste of time. A really really shallow story about a bunch of people with poor communication skills, very little in the way of morals/ideals, and grossly cheesy.
Don't spend the money or the time.


And that's what I have so far! I'm going to try to read "The Paris Wife" next as this has come recommended, but I am always open for suggestions so let me know :-)

enjoy your Saturday!

Spring Photo Shoot

It was a beautiful day and K was just too cute to resist...
Enjoy!!








This last one was actually how a bunch of them looked...she kept wanting to grab the camera!



She is just getting so big so fast, I can hardly believe it.
She is pulling up on everything, walking with help and we figure it won't be too long before she ventures out on her own.
And she just keeps smiling through it all :-)

Entering the Digital Age


I'll admit. I Love books. I love holding them, browsing through the book store, looking at covers, reading the back blurbs, deciding which ones to read.
And I love keeping those books, cramming bookshelf after bookshelf full of all my books, every book from college from my Shakespeare collection to my post-modern books that didn't quite make sense.
I still try to do some fun reading in between trying to keep up with my normal reading so I would usually have one or two books around the house about halfway read. The problem was I often didn't have space or remember to bring them with me to random places or to work to read while I had time.

Enter the Kindle:


I had my first mother's day recently (that was fun :-) And Mark surprised me with a Kindle.
I'll admit, at first I was skeptical. I had visions of Fahrenheit 451 where all the books disappear and no one remembers any of the stories. Then I started using it.
I immediately downloaded Tina Fey's "Bossypants." And haven't put it down since.
It is so nice to have all my books that I am reading at the same time in the same place!!!

Seriously, there is a part of me that will always love the paper books, the smell of fresh paper, buying a new book. But I have to admit, the convenience, the portability, and the flexibility of the Kindle are quite appealing.

So Thanks Mark and Kyla for bringing me into the Digital Age!!!

As my husband says,

"The cheese stands alone."



Thank you Mallorie for helping our child meet her milestones :-)
We will call you for all future big steps!!

Easter Party



props to cheryl for some mad reflexes.

Life of Late

So I have just come off of what has been deemed the most demanding rotation of my residency. The truth is, I try to avoid talking about work on this blog because I think it is important to keep in mind that my work is not my life. This being said, it has been a long 8 weeks with one week of a break in the middle.
This is not to say that I don't enjoy my job. I knew (to some degree) what I was getting into when I signed up for medicine. But I stuck with it because I felt like it was an important place for me to be. And because I have a huge pile of debt...but I try not to think about that part of it.
However, I think that working as a mom does change my perspective a bit. The good thing about K being young is that I don't think she will remember most of these years, the bad thing is I think I will.
There was an insightful article written by a working mom in our alumni magazine a few years ago found here .
I think it is hard balance and one that isn't easy to achieve. For me, it has been made easier by a very helpful husband but there are still times when I feel like I am doing both roles only suboptimally.
But I don't think I could give up my job right now.
I think that providing care to patients, especially the population that often ends up coming to my clinic is important. I think that I was able to get an education, had the luxury of learning and to some degree owe back this luxury. This is not to discredit the woman who chooses to give back her education to her family. This is a noble cause too, one not to be downplayed. But for me, right now, working as a physician is where I belong. Even after the longest rotation of my life.

I am a doctor. Albeit a relatively new one, still mostly fresh, only occasionally (or a lot depending on the day...) bitter, and trying to figure out the right balance.
Perhaps in my time I'll figure out how to be a graceful surgeon and a graceful mother. Either way, unless I win the lottery I'm on this path for at least a little while longer and K is stuck with a mom who gets to spend lots of time welcoming new people into the world who still tries to make it home for dinner and some bedtime snuggles.

The End of an Era....



Ok. So the following post is about breastfeeding and pumping. If that is not your style, consider yourself forewarned and go ahead and skip this one.
BUT you should make note of just three things:
1. Boobs are actually for milk. Despite what our culture says.
2. Don't ever call a lady breastfeeding or pumping, "Bessie." It never goes well.
3. I make no judgements about formula vs. breast milk. Look at Mark-he got mostly formula and he turned out alright.


Back to the task at hand. I'm going to summarize in brief, my experience with the whole "breastfeeding" thing.
And in the process admit my failures, make no judgements about what you have decided to do (although I still find it strange if a kid who is old enough to SAY Boob is still nursing, but whatever), and share how I got through this whole process. And yes, this is only my experience, and I have talked to enough people to know that this story plays out many different ways and DO NOT let my experience scare you off...the truth is most women do this and do just fine.

FIRST. Breastfeeding is NOT explicitly natural. It was much much harder than expected. And though I had read books about childraising, sleep training, knew a bit about the birth process, etc, I hadn't done enough homework about breastfeeding. This was my first mistake.

I knew that I wanted to at least try because there is reasonable enough data that breastfeeding is pretty good for the little ones. It has all sorts of immune stuff and the right content of fat/protein/carbs at the right time. So I really pretty much wanted to give it a go.

Me and K seemed to start off fine. For the first two days. Then we struggled. So we went in for remedial help. This helped. For a bit. But then, my five weeks of maternity leave vanished, I was still struggling and now trying to juggle feeding, pumping, and coping with an extreme amount of discomfort.

So in my attempt to figure out what my next step might be, I had a moment of weakness and visited the LaLeche League website. And lo and behold in their frequently asked questions, right after "How do I breastfeed children of different ages simultaneously?" was the question "are there ever people who just exclusively pump?"

I read that one.

And then I thought a lot about what I thought might work. My schedule is, at times, prohibitive from a normal day/night schedule. So when I added it all up, I would really only be able to actually feed K twice during the day, the rest of the time I wouldn't be around. So I decided to throw in the towel and just pump.

So me and my new best friend, pictured at the top went EVERYWHERE together. There were a few panic mornings when I had left one part or another at home and had to have Mark drive it to me...times when I had to pump standing in a bathroom, in airports, in locker rooms, offices, random rooms, pretty much anywhere I could. Most days it was lunch? or pump? and we all know what decision has to happen with that.
So I pumped. And pumped. and realized that I had failed at breastfeeding but I could come to terms with it and that Baby K didn't care what she had...it was really more me wanting to give her any leg up that I thought I could.

But now those days have come to an end...no more middle of the night pump sessions while K slept so I could keep up with her, no more hauling that "sleek stylish' bag around, no more obsessively checking to make sure I had all the parts, no more waking up before work to make sure K had enough for daycare...

I think it has been a mutually peaceful parting, and I certainly have learned a few things.
First, read and learn from others (aka me...) and those who are AWESOME and those who aren't so you can put together your own plan of attack.
Second,get help early. I should have taken a class before and then as soon as I started having trouble, not toughed it out but got some good solid advice.
Third, your kid is going to be fine either way. K doesn't care formula, breastmilk.
Fourth, introduce the bottle early-ish. It made a huge difference to have Mark able to help me and to have breaks even at the beginning.
Fifth, buy a pumpease bra if you go my route, Look it up on Amazon, you won't regret it.
Sixth, for me....


Breath a big sigh of relief that it is all done for now and I can't help but hope next time might be a little bit easier ;)

Playing Guitar with Dad



K just keeps going....she is into everything now and it is certainly a bit more interesting trying to keep track of her.
She has discovered the joy that comes from dumping out Phoenix's water bowl on the floor, pulling out all her toys, cruising around the floor and pulling herself to standing and cruising around the room...

I cannot get over how quick everything happened! Just last week she learned to crawl and now there is nothing stopping her :-)

To Do List:

Make Kyla laugh more...if that is even possible:



And..next on my reading list, since the baby books tell me that Kyla will soon be able to know right/wrong and respond is this book:


It comes highly recommended and I'm hoping that it will help us start to provide a good framework for our giggle monster...Will let you know the reviews soon!
I'm going to be on vacation (yay!) next week so will try to read it then...until then it is nose to the grindstone on this rotation....
Fortunately I have a husband who does stuff like go to the grocery store, have pulled pork for dinner and beer :-) Sweet.

Giggle.

Baby K Says hi




And thanks to all her fans for their continued support.

Phoenix and Kyla

Sisters forever. Below are a few selections of why Kyla and Phoenix have a beautiful future ahead of them.







Phoenix and Kyla. BFF.

Toes and Giggles.

So Baby K has been feeling quite under the weather for about the last two weeks...a combo of what was probably a touch of the RSV combined with a wicked ear infection meant that she wasn't the happiest camper. It also meant that poor Mark had to deal with some tough nights since I'm at work...

After two sets of antibiotics we think we have finally gotten it beat and she is feeling a bit better.

The following video is a bit of her giggling and please disregard my non-sensical rambling.
The truth is she is starting to babble so much and it is so fun to hear. Lots of blahs, bas, das, a few mas, and some gas. Lots of new sounds to practice. She is also become quite able to log-roll her way around. She is still trying for the crawling, but seems perfectly happy to roll around.

Anyways, here is the giggle monster herself....

What a life.

I stumbled across a blog a few months ago via an acquaintance on facebook and could not believe the story of this woman's life.
She is truly an example of grace and beauty despite the struggles that came her way.
If you have time, it is worth it to read the whole story and hear her thoughts.
Makes me what to be a better person.
The story for us is over, but for her, it is just beginning.
Check it out:
Sarah's Story

New Carpet! (and furnace...)

So when we first moved in, we discovered that those that sold us our house were known to be less than honest...it was basically par for the course that on our official move in walk through we suddenly realized the state of the carpeting demonstrated by three relatively large holes in the upstairs and the downstairs. NOW Mark and I are relatively aware people and typically notice these things, however! we were thwarted in our efforts as the aforementioned holes had been hidden. Under plants.
Yup. Plants.
For future house-shopping, we will be lifting all floor plants, so beware.
Anyways, we knew we needed new carpeting. Like before we moved in. But the costs of home ownership are hefty and we weren't quite ready for that commitment.
Fast forward two years and add a small child whose head basically lives in the floor. Now the knowledge that our carpet was old turned in to we NEED new carpet. Or K will be forever inhaling the dust spores of the generations that came before us.
My parents graciously offered to help us on our expenditure and I set off on the task of finding the perfect new carpeting.

During my hunt, I came to a profound realization as to what exactly I was looking for in carpeting.
I wanted carpeting that looked like dirt.
Not REAL dirt. But dirt nonetheless. Because it will get dirty and I don't want it to show up.
SO I want carpeting that is actually clean (for now) but will still look the SAME (even if dirty).
Seeing as we have regular "Phoenix has barfed the fertilizer she ate up in the corner of the closet" moments, this is very important to me.

I made the rounds to a carpet store and Home Depot, met a lovely lady named Kim at Carpet One who sold me some nice (clean) but dirty carpet and thus began our journey.

Now, don't forget, we live in our house currently. with lots and lots of stuff. And unfortunately for us, the carpet is UNDER all that stuff (who knew?)

To get the NEW carpet UNDER our old stuff we had to move it ALL elsewhere. In the house. This made for a few interesting days.
The upstairs was done first and was slightly less painful.
Then the first floor came up to bat and it was yeah. Kind of awful. Never want to do it again.
This is what our house looked like this morning:

Can you see the kitchen?
And this:


Now here comes the fun part...
We were actually gone this past weekend on a fun trip to my parents (post to come) and on our return noted that our house was very cool. I mean, very cool. We(and I mean Mark) went down to check out the furnace at approx. 10pm on Monday night. The furnace it seemed, had entered retirement without letting us know. So we had someone come out to check it out and they thought they fixed it. But long story short, it was really really done.
SO we got a new furnace.

Anyways, that was just a short and very expensive tangent.
Back to the carpet.
About halfway through I began to wonder if it was truly worth all this work.
Then the carpet guys left, phoenix entered the room, sniffed around and promptly sprawled out.
Then Kyla crawled around rubbed her face in the new carpet and barfed.
Yup. It was a beautiful decision.

Christmas!

It was Baby K's first Christmas and my whole family came out to keep us company :-)
She had fun? Maybe?
But we sure did...


Bday dinner for Mom...


Santa and her reluctant reindeer..


My favorite little girl.